The Sparkle Five
by teatime14
Summary: The tomkits are all tired of the Rum Tum Tugger getting all of the attention from the queens. Their solution? Start a boy band!


Disclaimer: I don't own "cats" or any Justin Bieber or One Direction lyrics. Or the idea from "the Jackson Five"

**This story is basically the result of me getting writer's block and being obessed with One Direction. Brace yourselves, it's really random and stupid :D**

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"The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat!" all of the kittens sang enthusiastically as they cheered for Tugger as he sashayed around the junkyard. They were all awestruck- or lovestruck in the case of the queens- and enamored by how effortlessly awesome he was. All the queens wanted him, all the toms wanted to be him.

Plato, Tumblebrutus, Pouncival, and Admetus were toms particularly impressed by the Rum Tum Tugger. Unfortunately, though, unlike Tugger they were a group of nameless losers. The best they could do was pathetically practice wiggling their hips in corners when they thought no one was looking, but kind of wishing that they were looking. You could say they were more than a little desperate for attention.

As the other kittens were singing their praises for the Rum Tum Tugger, an idea came into Plato's mind- which was really a very rare event. If Tugger gained all of his fans by acting like a rock star... why couldn't they? He pulled Pouncival, Tumblebrutus, and Admetus aside to tell them his plan.

"Gentlemen, I been thinking," he started.

"Wow, that's a first!" Pouncival said, causing Plato to glare at him.

"Hey, I think-uh- I think lots of times!" he defended himself after some difficulty of choosing the right words. "Anyways, let me point out that we is all queenfriend-less losers, right?"

"RIGHT!" Admetus cheered with a stupid face and a fist pump in the air.

"Yeah, that's old news. What's your point?" Tumblebrutus said.

"So- and here's the really thinky part- we make... a band!" Plato said with excitement.

"Alright, I'm in! Chicks dig toms in bands! Not to mention the tight leather pants we'll be sporting," Pouncival said with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Admetus likes pants!" Admetus yelled with a stupid face. "And bands! Oh, and chicks, too!"

"You really out-thought yourself, Plato!" Tumblebrutus said with a smile and a clap to his friend's back. "Can I be the leader of the band? Pretty pretty please! I may be an unimportant side character in CATS, but that doesn't mean I can't be the star of this story!"

"Actually, Tumblebrutus,_ I'm_ the leader of the band," Plato drawled on as he pointed to himself. "I was the one who thinked of the idea!"

"Oh come on, you don't even have a single solo line in the movie!" Tumblebrutus argued back. "I have _three_! Fashizzle ma nizzle!"

"Admetus will rule all!" Admetus interrupted with a stupid face.

"I don't really care about being the leader," Pouncival said with a shrug. "As long as I get the pants and the chicks I'm good."

The four continued to debate the point until they were interrupted by a loud blare of music and blinding stage lights. The spotlights were all focused directly on Mistoffelees, standing not far from them posed in his sparkly suit.

"Oh! Well I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!" Mistoffelees bellowed with great gusto as he made a grand entry. Confetti and sparkles fell all around him as he circled the group and continued to sing his song. "Oh! Well I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!"

"Hi, Mistoffelees," Tumblebrutus said flatly. The music stopped with a snap of Mistoffelees' fingers and he poofed to appear right in front of the four toms.

"Hello, oh-lame-ones," Mistoffelees said, nonchalantly blowing the smoke from his paws. "I heard that you were forming a band and you needed a leader. You need look no further than yours truly!" He did a quick campy little tap dance and looked at the group expectantly with a giant smile.

"You know," Pouncival said with great concentration, "he's just tacky and flashy enough to make the perfect band leader."

"Why thank you," Mistoffelees replied happily.

"As much as I should be leader," Plato said, "Pouncival's right. Besides, you is much more of a main character anyways."

"Now we just need to name our band," Tumblebrutus reminded them all.

"Guys, I have the perfect name. Really, this is the greatest name ever, I swear. _The one name to rule them all_," Mistoffelees said, dead serious. "We will be called... Mistoffelees and the Sparkly Glittertastical Coolio Kitty Cats."

"SPARKLES!" Admetus yelled with a stupid face.

"Hmmm..." Pouncival said before adding, "That... is... _genius_! Pure PERFECTION!" He clapped in appreciation of Mistofflees' artistry with an enthusiastic smile.

"Do you think queens would like it?" Plato said, still a bit skeptical. "I mean, it's a really long name and, I dunno, sparkles is a bit... girly?"

"WHAT!" Mistoffelees gasped with a look of astonishment. "Guuurl, please! Are you questioning my manliness?"

"No, I is not! But- and here's another think- maybe we could shorten the name? We could just be the Sparkle Five," Plato suggested.

"I don't know, the name Sparkle Five is a bit radical," Mistoffelees replied, stroking his chin in thought, "But I suppose it could work."

"Yeah, Sparkle Five!" Tumblebrutus cheered. "I can hear the queens cheering it already!"

"What about our singing? I mean, that's kinda important, right?" Pouncival said.

"Everyone knows _I_ can sing," Tumblebrutus bragged. "_Three_ solo lines, remember?"

"LA LALA LA LAAA!" Admetus sang out randomly with a stupid face. The other toms all cringed at the horrible sound.

"Maybe you can just rap or something," Tumblebrutus said to Admetus, who shrugged and made a stupid face.

"But the rest of us are at least decent singers," Pouncival said. "And I think the ladies will be too busy looking at my tight pants to even notice my singing, if ya know what I mean." He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows again.

"Anyways, men, as the sole leader of this band I proclaim that I am the best singer and will be handling all solos," Mistoffelees stated.

"Hate to burst you's bubble, Misto, but you barely even sing in the movie," Plato said after some thought.

"Oh no you didn't!" Mistoffelees countered defensively with a sassy snap of his fingers. "I sing more than you, PLAY-DOUGH! I sing more than _any_ of you!"

"I have THREE lines!"

"You shut up, too, Tumblebrutus!" Mistoffelees yelled. "Anyways, we have all the singing down. We're all more than capable of dancing, especially myself. We still need... costumes!"

"PANTS!" Pouncival interrupted.

"Why are you so obsessed with pants!" Tumblebrutus exclaimed.

"No, no, pants are good. Very good," Mistoffelees said as he appeared to think deeply for a moment. "I have.. a VISION! We will all have sparkly black jumpsuits, tight pants included!"

"That's basically what you're already wearing," Tumblebrutus pointed out. "What about red jumpsuits instead?"

"Hmmm... I think red would clash too much with my fur," Mistofflees said. With a puppy dog look from Tumblebrutus, though, he gave in. "Oh, FINE, red it is." Mistofflees sighed and snapped his fingers, and with a poof the costumes all appeared in front of them. They wasted no time in trying them on, though slipping into the tight spandex was a bit of an effort.

"How do it look?" Plato asked as he looked down at his costume. It was super tight with long sleeves and pants that went down to his ankles. And, like Mistofflees had promised, they were bright red and covered in sparkles. The chest had a black square that said "S5" in white writing. The costume also included a short black cape that had their respective names on it in bold, glittery silver letters.

"You look fabulous!" Mistoffelees replied with a smile as he looked down at his costume too.

"I feel like a diva superhero," Pouncival said. "I like it!"

"It hugs my butt kind of weirdly," Tumblebrutus admitted, "but I guess they're alright."

"Me likey," Admetus said with a smile and a stupid face.

"Now, let's get to work, men. If we're going to be the greatest boy band the world has ever known, we've got to practice," Mistoffelees stated. Him, Tumblebrutus, Pouncival, Admetus, and Plato all left to practice for their debut performance.

They spent five unproductive days honing their band skills before they felt they were ready to perform in front of the junkyard. They just needed the perfect time to show off, when everyone would be paying attention. And that moment came one evening when Rum Tum Tugger was doing his usual routine, shaking his butt and making all of the queens scream. Instead of trying to copy him, though, the tomkits all slipped into their costumes and hid behind the TSE-1 car.

"Are you all ready?" Mistoffelees whispered eagerly as they crouched in anticipation. The toms all nodded their heads, excited and nervous for their performance. Mistoffelees clapped his hands together and all of the lights went out, leaving the junkyard in complete darkness. The darkness was so thick even a cat wouldn't be able to see through it.

Suddenly five spotlights turned on, each one illuminating a tom standing on the hood of the car. Their red costumes sparkled fabulously under the lights and attracted the attention of everyone in the junkyard. Suddenly, all of the lights got brighter and focused on the makeshift stage, the hood of the car.

"We are... the Sparkle Five!" Mistoffelees yelled to the audience. Admetus, Plato, Pouncival, Tumblebrutus, and him all started dancing hip hop moves in perfect sync, throwing in a lot of hip wiggles and pelvic thrusts. Loud, catchy music started to play as the toms began to sing. And if they were a little off-tune, no one even seemed to notice.

Mistoffelees: Ooh, babyyy, you look so fine in that collar! Ooh, babyyy, where'd you buy that collar?  
All: Oooohhh, ooohhh!  
Mistoffelees: You look so fine, almost as fine as meeeeee!  
All: Oooohhh, ooohhh!  
Plato: I want you to be miiinneee... queenfriend! Mine queenfriend! Uhh.. yeah!  
All: Woaaahh woaaah woaaahhh yeah!  
Pouncival: Look at my pants, they're super tight! Does it turn yooouuu on?  
Admetus: (rap) Pants, pants, yeah!  
All: So look at us, we're all daaancing, YEAH! So look at us, pay attention to uuuusss, YEAH! Oooohhh, ooohhh!  
Tumblebrutus: And I was like baby, baby, baby, ohhhhh!  
All: Oooohhh, ooohhh!  
Mistoffelees: Baby, baby, baby, ohhhhh! You don't know, oh oh, you don't know you're beautiful!  
Admetus: (rap) Beautiful, oh yeah!  
All: That's what makes you beautiful!

The song was a terrible mishmash of lyrics, but the tune was so catchy and the toms looked so snazzy that they were an instant hit. The queens all cheered louder than they had ever cheered for the Rum Tum Tugger, who had gone to pout in a corner after they stopped paying attention to him.

"I LOVE YOU!" Etcetera screamed as she jumped up and down in front of the hood of the car.

"They're so talented!" Victoria gushed as she started to cry tears of joy. Jemima and Electra squealed in super high pitched voices and jumped up and down like Etcetera. Old Deuteronomy was clapping and laughing like a happy baby.

Even Munkustrap seemed to be a fan. He was cheering wildly and screaming, "Sparkle five! Sparkle five!" until Demeter shot him a look. He coughed and quickly stopped cheering after that.

"They love us!" Pouncival said as he bent down to high-five the queens' outreached hands.

"I'm never washing this hand again!" Etcera squealed after he high-fived her.

"Wow, this really was my greatest think ever!" Plato exclaimed. "Maybe I should try to do thinks more often?" He seemed to concentrate deeply for a moment before rubbing his head.

"Don't hurt yourself, buddy," Tumblebrutus said. "That's enough thinking for today." Plato smiled and assumed his normal dull expression.

"I'm popular!" Admetus, the little weirdo, said with a stupid face.

"Ahem," Mistoffelees coughed. "I think you're all forgetting that, as the band leader, principle vocalist, and sparkle supplier, I practically CREATED us!"

"And?" Tumblebrutus said.

"And so I think I deserve a little credit here!" Mistoffelees replied as he crossed his arms.

"I LOVE YOU MISTO!" Victoria cheered wildly. The black cat smiled with satisfaction.

"They love me!" he gushed, wiping away tears. "I'm so proud of myself!"

The Rum Tum Tugger suddenly hopped onto the stage and did a flashy dance, pushing the Sparkle Five away and causing incessant booing. "Why don't you love me!" he cried desperately.

"Boy bands are _so_ much hotter than aging has-beens," Bombalurina scoffed.

"HA! In your face!" Mistoffelees yelled as he pointed to Tugger. "I told you all he was a terrible bore, but did anyone listen to me? _Noooo!_"

The Sparkle Five knocked Tugger off the stage and performed an encore of their song, causing wild cheering again. They were the new hit sensation of the junkyard... at least for that day.

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**This will probably just be a oneshot. Yeah, the characters were all really exaggerated and/or ooc haha. Sorry if I offended any fans of Misto, Plato, Admetus, or anyone else. Review, please! I hope this was at least somewhat funny? Hopefully? Haha thanks for reading (:**


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